Jack Zimmerman, Son of the LAX Legend, Bob Zimmerman
by Maven Fair
Summary: In which Jack is a LAX bro and totally smitten with Bitty. (A love story that includes: bad flirting, an abundance of Chads, hockey butts, and a bunch of idiots in love. Also, pie.)


Jack Zimmerman was in trouble the moment he saw his very first live hockey game.

(Correction: he was in trouble the moment he saw the small Number 15 zoom across the ice and score a goal against guys twice his size.)

"Wow."

"Yeah, wow, can't believe how fast that little Number 15 is," says Chad S. "Yo, anyone know his name? Or number, I ain't picky."

"Wow."

"Dude, you already said that."

"Wow."

"Oh boy, Zimmerman's already far gone. Earth to Jack!" CJ waves his hand in front of Jack's awed face.

"I mean, I'm straight but I definitely see where Zimm is coming from," Chadley says as Number 15 quickly dodges out of the way of a full-force check, leaving the other guy to slam hard against the wall. "Ouch."

Chad K. whistles and smirks.

The game continues on like this, Jack on the edge of his seat every time Number 15 manages to dodge out of the way of yet another player.

Finally, the buzzer signals the end of the game, declaring Samwell victorious. The people around them cheer excitedly, and the players on the ice all share a celebratory group hug.

Jack sits there, wonderstruck, tuning out his teammates as he sees Number 15 take off his helmet, revealing a head of perfect blond hair and gorgeous baby blue eyes. He sighs.

"Hey, Jack, go ask for his number," Chad S. says. "If you don't use it I will."

"Looking's one thing, but dating? We all know the hockey team has it out for us," Chad K. says. "But go for it, I guess,"

"I dunno man. I've got a guy back home who's a hockey player and he seems to be pretty into me - " Chad L. gets cut off by everyone groaning.

"Oh God, it's always 'Connor this, Connor that'. Let us singles dream, yeah?"

"Jackie here sure is dreaming, although I don't know if it's appropriate for the young ones," CJ jokes, gesturing towards the first years. "Try to keep it in your pants, yeah?"

"Do you think the hockey team would hate me if I went over there and proposed on the spot?" Jack asks after Number 15 (he really needs to find out his name) smiles brightly at one of his teammates.

"Dude, I'd give it at least a week before you approach him. Talk to him, get him interested, then go for the kill." Chad S. says. Usually, Jack would ignore anything Chad S. had to say, but he was too smitten by Number 15's ass to say anything coherent (or to reject the idea).

Little did he know that week would be the most embarrassing week of his life.

* * *

"Should we go help him?"

"Nah, I wanna revel in the fact that Jack Zimmerman, son of the lacrosse legend Bob Zimmerman, can't flirt to save his life," Chadley says. Him and CJ watch as Jack, their captain, stands towering over Eric Bittle in the hallway of the Haus.

(For some reason the hockey players keep on correcting their pronunciation despite the fact that the two Chads wouldn't tell the difference.)

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" Jack asks and, wow, CJ thought he was bad at flirting, but Jack truly takes the cake.

"Um… " Eric says, glancing down at Jack's lacrosse team jersey he's wearing. The music picks up and they don't hear what they're saying, the random pop singer drowning out their conversation. Eric, however, seems to perk up, yet still seems slightly uncomfortable.

"Welp, it's over, the hockey team has officially affected him," Chadley says. "No way he'll accept a date from Jack now,"

"We should've made him change into something else."

"What other clothes does he have? Have you ever seen his wardrobe, it's just athletic clothing and nothing else."

"Fair," CJ says as two of the hockey bros - Ransom and Holster? - shoot glares at Jack as they shove Eric away from their conversation. "Hey, Jack!"

Jack snaps out of a daze and walks over to where Chadley and CJ were not-so-subtly watching probably the most awkward attempt at flirting they'd ever seen. "So, dude, how'd it go?" Chadley asks, as though they hadn't just seen everything that just went down.

"He's amazing," Jack says. Oh, God thinks Chadley.

"Oh, God," says CJ.

"He told me to call him Bitty and wow that is just perfect and then he told me that I didn't seem like I play lacrosse and how that's a compliment and then his friends took him away but not before he told me that maybe we could be friends and I just found out that he's in one of my classes even though he's only a sophomore and - "

"Oh, God," CJ repeats.

* * *

Things go on like that for the next two weeks. Every kegster the SMH team throws Jack is always there, ready to search for Eric Bittle. Chadley, CJ, and occasionally some of the other Chads tag along. It's almost hilarious how all it takes is a crush for Jack to finally show up at a college frat party.

"This cannot go on," Chad T. says, watching with thinly veiled disgust as Jack throws out yet another bad pick-up line. "Please tell me we are not letting this continue. It's starting to affect our games." And, it was. Suddenly Jack was searching for a mop of blond hair in the crowd so much that he started to miss passes. Not enough to fully hurt the team's abilities, but it was definitely getting old quickly.

"Why doesn't he just ask him out already? It's obvious Bittle's interested," Chad S. says.

"In classic Jack fashion, he doesn't know how to," Chad L. says. "I would try and help but the moment you mention Bittle's name he gets all dopey. It's sickening."

"You're one to talk," CJ says.

"That's different, I actually am dating Connor which means I have total bragging rights."

"Right, sure."

"Guys, shut up! I think he's gonna do it," Chadley says. The whole lacrosse team turns towards where Jack stands next to Eric. Jack is taking deep breaths and seems to be psyching himself up.

"Oh, I'm so proud of our captain, finally learning how to ask someone out… " CJ says. They all inch closer, waiting with bated breath as Jack begins to say something.

"I mean, you're good at hockey," Bittle chuckles, a blush staining his cheeks. It's the picture of a smitten person.

"Gee, Jack, I didn't know." Jack blushes and clears his throat.

"You're a really cool guy, and you're good at baking, and you're fun to talk to," Jack rambles.

"C'mon, man," CJ whispers. "Say it!"

"Jack, are you drunk?" Bittle asks, squinting jokingly at him. "I don't think I've ever heard you talk this much."

"I, um," Jack stutters.

"This is painful," Chad T. says as Jack clears his throat again.

"Shut up, dude," Chad L. replies. "Love always wins."

"I don't think that's what that means," Chad S. says.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is - " the music drowns Jack's voice out.

The Chads groan.

"Sorry, what did you say?" Jack swallows and replies,

"You need to eat more protein."

("Kill me," CJ says later, before downing a whole cup of tub juice.)

* * *

"I think I ruined it," Jack says. "Bitty seems to be avoiding me."

Oh no, CJ thinks, is this the moment where he has to play responsible teammate and help him with his love life rather than just stalking them from afar?

"I'm sure that's not true," he manages.

It is so true. To be fair, if he were Bittle, CJ would also be avoiding Jack. "I just, I dunno, really like him and I don't wanna mess it up like I did before."

Oh, God, why did Jack have to be so nice? "Maybe instead of only hanging with him at kegsters, try inviting him out to coffee or something? Everyone loves a good cup from Annie's."

"Yeah, I'll try that. Thanks, CJ." CJ sighs and pats himself on the back. Surely it can't get worse?

(It gets worse. It gets so, so much worse.)

* * *

"Dude, should we be doing this still?" Chad K. asks, referring to the fact that they are currently waiting for Jack to arrive at Annie's so that they can stalk his "date".

"Sh… It's for the good of the team," CJ says.

"I think you're too invested in Jack's love life," Chadley says.

Eric Bittle finally arrives and grabs a seat. "I hope Jack arrives soon," Chad K. says. "It's always awkward when they wait for longer than five minutes."

Thankfully, Jack does arrive soon. Unfortunately, he brings flowers. Now, normally, CJ would be thanking every deity up there for the fact that Jack remembered what it means to be a gentleman.

Except then Eric Bittle sneezes.

"Oh, God… " Chad K. says.

Eric is now full-on having a sneeze attack, sniffling and crying slightly. Jack looks lost, awkwardly holding the bouquet of flowers. "Go get rid of them, Jack," Chadley whispers.

"I can't watch this," Chadwick groans, covering his face with his hands. "Please tell me he's at least gotten rid of the flowers already."

"Nope. He's still just. Standing there,"

"That's our captain." CJ says in monotone.

A voice, not too far from them, break the sound of the mutual embarrassment of Samwell's Men's Hockey Team. "Is that Bitty?"

"Shit," whispers Chad K. "Isn't that the captain of the hockey team?"

"Shitty" B. Knight, two year captain of the (in)famous hockey team, fast walks from the pathway that the lacrosse team is hiding in, just narrowly avoiding seeing them, before barging into Annie's, a small Asian woman following leisurely behind him.

"Can we get closer? I wanna hear what they're saying!" Chadwick says, watching as Shitty grabs the flowers from Jack and hands them to the woman, who disposes of them outside by giving them to a random person walking past.

"I dunno if I want to hear what Shitty Knight's saying," Chadley winces as Shitty starts to berate Jack, hands moving anywhere and everywhere as Jack face slowly loses color. The Asian woman - Larissa? - guides Eric out and hands him some napkins from one of the napkin dispensers.

"Poor Jack… " Chad S. says, watching as Jack dejectedly makes his way out of Annie's. He seems to say sorry to Eric before leaving, though not for long, due to the fact that Shitty Knight is still glaring at him.

("Please, God, Allah, Yahweh, anyone," CJ whispers. "Fucking stop this shit."

"Technically those are the same people," Chadley responds. CJ chucks one of the leftover flowers at him.)

* * *

"I have a new idea," Jack says to CJ. CJ doesn't know how he became their captains go-to relationship guy, but here he is.

"You know what? Go for it, dude," CJ says, not bothering to even hear the suggestion.

In retrospect, he really should have.

* * *

"He did not," Chad L. whispers. "Please tell me that he did not."

"Oh, he did," Chad K.'s voice is in disbelief. "He really did."

CJ groans, resolving to eat the store bought pie that Jack had tried to give Bitty in order to apologize to him.

* * *

"This is getting ridiculous," Chadwick says, as Jack rejects a slice of Bitty's apple pie that he had very obviously made just for Jack (maple-crusted and everything). First the protein, then the flowers, then the store bought pie, then the invite to the LAX frat which ended in literal fire, then the invite to a game which ended in figurative blood, and now this.

"If I had a girlfriend who made me pies as good as Bitty's I would gladly take all the extra calories, no matter what Coach says," Chad S. says.

"CJ, do something!" Chadley says, pointing his head towards where Bitty is dejectedly offering the rejected pie to his teammates, who are glaring at Jack's back as he walks away.

"What?" CJ asks. "You do something!"

"Uh, hey! Jack!" Chadley yells. The hockey team glances their way (with quite a few suspicious glares) as Jack notices them and starts to walk towards to where they're sitting outside of Annie's, which is a solid hundred feet away from the quad he was just in.

"Hey," he greets. He seems put-out, and Chadley glances expectantly at CJ. CJ glares back in response. They both trade looks back and forth until Chad L. gets sick of their argument and turns towards a distracted Jack.

"Hey, Jack," he says.

"Hey, CJ."

"So, I know that this whole thing with Bittle has got you pretty, uh," He tries to find a word for "complete and utter dumbass" that's not gonna completely ruin his relationship with his captain. "Infatuated?" he settles on.

"Yeah, dude, you've been totally distracted these last few days," Chad K. says.

"It's just, I don't know," Jack says and, God, is he about to lay all his worries on them and then ask for advice? "I really… I really like him." CJ laughs.

"Yeah, dude, we know."

"And I don't want to mess this up," he continues.

"I'm sure you won't, man," Chadwick assures.

"CJ, Chadley, Chad S., Chad K., Chad L., and Chadwick," Jack starts. "I just wanna know… what should I do? Nothing I say seems to work." As Jack bites his lip and puts his hands to his face, all the Chads turn towards CJ. CJ glares.

"I guess, uh," CJ says and, oh no, he has to say something that will finally stop this whole fiasco. "You know what they say," It comes out more like a question.

"What do they say?" Jack asks.

"You know," CJ continues, thinking frantically at every single inspirational quote that he's ever seen on some well-meaning teacher's wall. "That you miss every shot that you don't take?" All of the Chads anxiously wait for Jack's response.

Jack's silent for a few moments before saying, "Yeah." And then he shoots up in his seat and hastily gathers up his meager belongings. "Yeah, you do. Sorry, guys, but I've gotta - "

"Go get your man, Captain," CJ says, and Jack does.


End file.
